right where i am.

The Right Where I Am project is a project for the community of men and women who have experienced pregnancy loss and infant death. I first conceived of this project in this post and got some feedback from the community.   The idea is that every one of us, from the earliest stages of grief until years or decades out from their loss, write about what it is like right where they are. Each person writes about the way grief has integrated into their life and their child is part of their family. Basically, it is like a map on the road of grief. I know from talking to women and men just coming into the community, and from being there myself, so much of what I was confused and scared about was what my life was going to be like, the ways in which Lucia would be in our lives, and if I would always be so angry. The goal was not to read a bunch of posts where people say, "It gets better. Just wait." But rather posts where each person talks about where he or she is right now in grief, and the daily ways in which grief rears its head, the things she can do now that seemed impossible, the obstacles she or he is facing right at this point in grief.

One day, at the end of May 2011, I decided that today was the day I was going to write Right Where I am. There was no special date for it from my or anyone else's grief perspective. Just a day I wanted to write about Lucy. If you would like to participate in Right Where I am, please read this post. You can also click on that post and read where others are at all lengths of time since their loss.

One Month, Two Weeks, One Day: Nerissa. 
One Month, Two Weeks, Five Days: Rachel.
One Months, Three Weeks, Six Days: Samantha.
Two Months, Four Days: Christy.
Two Months, Five Days: Josh. 
Two Months, Six Days: Nikki.
Two Months, One Week, Two Days: Maria. 
Two Months, Two Weeks, Four Days: Shaina. 
Two Months, Twenty Days: Jen. 
Three Months: Searching for Serenity.
Three Months, Four Days: Pam.
Three Months, Six Days: Jordan.
Three Months, Seven Days: Lydia.
Three Months, One Week, Two Days: Melissa. 
Three Months, Two Weeks, 1 Day: Matushka Anna.
Four Months, One Week: Kristie. 
Four Months, Three Weeks, Two Days: LauraJane.
Four Months, Three Weeks, Three Days: Kelly.
Four Months, Three Weeks, Six Days: Hannah.
Five Months: Becky.
Five Months, Three Days: Brooke. 
Five Months, Two Weeks, Four Days: Darcey. 
Six Months: Lisa.
Six Months, One Day: Brandy. 
Six Months, One Day: Joy and Sorrow.
Six Months, Two Days: Stacy.
Six Months, Four Days: Val.
Six Months, Two Weeks, Four Days: Sherri.
Six Months, Twenty-two Days: Melissa. 
Seven Months, One Day: Kate.
Seven Months, Six Days: KrystalK.
Seven Months, Nine Days: Tiffany.
Seven Months, One Week, Four Days: Natasha
Seven Months, Two Weeks, One Day: Kid A's Keeper.
Seven Months, Three Weeks, Four Days: Aubrey's Mom.
Seven Months, Three Weeks, Six Days: Tiffany.
Eight Months: Sarah.
Eight Months: Tatiana.
Eight Months, One Day: Sue.
Nine Months: Leslie. 
Nine Months, Five Days: Tess.
Nine Months, Two Weeks: Finding My New Normal. 
Nine and a half Months: Angie B. 
Nine Months, Two Weeks, Three Days: Mary.
Nine Months, Two Weeks, Four Days: Molly.
Nine Months, Three Weeks: Mandy.
Nine Months, Three Weeks: Kami.
Nine Months, Four Weeks: Ashley.
Ten Months, Two Weeks: Jenn.
Five Weeks Short of One Year: Missy.
Eleven Months, Six Days: Kara.
Eleven Months, One Week: Sara. 
Eleven Months, One Week, Three Days: Kate. 
Eleven Months, Three Weeks, Four Days: Melissa.
One Year, Two Weeks: Angela. 
One Year, Two Weeks, Two Days: Carrie.
One Year, Three Weeks: Kristin. 
One Year, Twenty-nine Days: Laura.
One Year, One Month: Julie. 
One Year, One Month, Six Days: Emily. 
One Year, One Month, Twenty-eight Days: Jen.
One Year, Forty-Seven Days: Brianna. 
One Year, One Month, Twenty-two Days: Elaine.
One Year, Two Months: Kathryn.  
One Year, Two Months: Merry.
One Year, Two Months: Kerry.
One Year, Two Months, Two Days: Marla.
One Year, Two Months, Ten Days: Car.
One Year, Two Months, One Week, Six Days: Katie. 

One Year, Three Months, Twenty-six Days: New Year Mum.
One Year, Four Months, One Day: Chrissy.
One Year, Four Months, One Week, Five Days: Jessica.
One Year, Four Months, Seventeen Days: Mary Beth.
One Year, Five Months: Hanen.
One Year, Five Months: Rachel.
One Year, Five Months, Two Days: Biojen
One Year, Five Months, Twenty-seven Days: Kristine.
One Year, Six Months: Lacey. 
One Year, Six Months: Maggie. 
One Year, Six Months, Seventeen Days: Betsy. 
One Year, Six Months, Nineteen Days: Lori.
One Year, Seven Months: Alissa.
One Year, Seven Months: Lis.
One Year, Seven Months, Six Days: Ava's Mummy. 
One Year, Eight Months: Vera Kate. 
One Year, Eight Months: Heidi. 
One Year, Eight Months, One Week, Three Days: Sarah.
One Year, Eight Months, Twenty-two Days:  Frustrated Fairy.
One Year, Ten Months: Susan. 
One Year, Ten Months: Kim.
One Year, Ten Months, Four Days: Maria. 
One Year, Ten Months, Five Days: Jeanette. 
One Year, Ten Months, I week, I day: Mel.
One Year, Eleven Months: Lucy.
Two Years: Kelly.
Two Years, Two Days: Salma.
Two Years, Two Weeks, Two Days: Louise.
Two Years, Sixteen Days: Franchesca. 
Two Years, One Month, Two Days: Deanna.
Two Years, One Month, Twenty-eight Days: Lost For Words.
Two Years, Two Months, Five Days: Holly.
Two Years, Two Months, Sixteen Days: Bec.
Two Years, Three Months: Crystal Theresa.
Two Years, Three Months, Twenty-seven Days: Jaime.
Two Years, Four Months: Emily.
Two Years, Four Months, Two Days: Paige.
Two Years, almost Five Months: Aleina. 
Two Years, Five Months: Angie. 
Two Years, Five Months: Kimberly.
Two Years, Six Months: Kara.
Two Years, Six months: Lani.
Two Years, Six Months, Nineteen Days: Lea.
Two Years, Six Months, Twenty-eight Days: Danielle.
Two Years, Seven Months: Chris. 
Two Years, Seven Months, One Week: Barb. 
Two Years, Seven Months, Twenty-seven Days: Jill. 
Two Years, Eight Months: Brigette.
Two Years, Nine Months: Sarah.
Two Years, Nine Months: Sally. 
Two Years, Nine Months: Catherine W. 
Two Years, Nine Months: Once a Mother.
Two Years, Nine Months: Erica.
Two Years, Nine Months, Seventeen Days: Aliza. 
Two Years, Eleven Months, Two Weeks: Ines. 
Two Years, Eleven Months, Three Weeks: Lisa. 
Three Years: Kat.
Three Years, Twelve Days: Jess. 
Three Year, One Month, Four Weeks: Kathy.
Three Years, Two Months: Emily.
Three Years, Two Months, Twenty-seven Days: Julie.
Three Years, Three Months: Ya Chun
Three Years, Three Months: Suzy. 
Three Years, Four Months, Two Weeks: Angela.
Three Years, Five Months: Mrs. Spit.
Three Years, Five Months: Sara.
Three Years, Five Months, Two Weeks, Six Days: CLC.
Three Years, Five Months, Seventeen Days: AMS.
Three Year, Seven Months: Namaste Mom
Three Years, Eight Months, Two Days: Amy.
Three Years, Nine Months, Two Days: TracyOC.
Three Years, Ten Months: Janis.
Three Years, Eleven Months: Vera Kate. 
Four Years, Two Months, Twenty-seven Days: Hope.
Four Years, Three Months: Laine.
Four Years, Four Months: Tash.
Five Years, Three Months: Eve.
Five Years, Four Months: Chantel.
Five Years, Five Months: Janel.
Five Years, Eight Months, Two Days: Amy.
Six Years, Two Months, Five Days: Danielle.
Seven Years, Two Months: Shandra.
Seven Years, Two Months: Martine.
Seven Years, Five Months: Ginny.
Seven Years, Nine Months: J.
Eight Years, Three Months: Mandy.
Ten Years: Christine.
Eleven Years: Magic 27 
Twelve Years, One Day: Karin
Twelve Years, Four Months: Kara, aka Mother Henna.
Twelve Years, Nine Months: Loribeth.


  1. Thank you Angie for conceiving this simple, yet really great idea and for bookmarking it here for us.

    I found the exercise in reflection to be very beneficial, just taking stock of where I am - I'm still working my way through the multitude of responses; learning from each and every one of them as I go.

    Thank you so much for this opportunity Angie

  2. This was such a great idea and loved reading where everyone is at. I do see my name on the list for 5 months: Becky but it doesn't link up to my blog but another girls who was at 7 months. My blog is for that post is:http://fortheloveofbabyliam.blogspot.com/2011/06/right-where-i-am-5-months.html
    Thanks Becky

  3. I love seeing them all lined up like this. I think I will start over and read them in order by time. Amazing what you have done here!

  4. i'm with Missy. i plan on starting over from the top.

    thank you, again, for this amazing project, angie.

  5. Hi honey, this is great,but you got me down as 2 years 10 months and 5 days , and it was 1 year 10 months and 5 days...sorry my fault for doing it in months and days. x

  6. Becky and Jeanette, Thanks for checking that. I fixed the links/time. I have a feeling I have a few more of those in there. XO

  7. Thanks so much for suggesting this concept and once again pulling together so many of us to create something breathtaking a powerful.

  8. Thanks again for doing this, Angie. Ordering it by time just seems to add to it...wow.

    I'm also going to start at the top. I'm just in awe of all the writers in their early days. They're amazing. After I wrote my daughter's eulogy, I lost my voice for writing anything personal for almost two years. So, I have no record of those early months, just a memory of being without words for the first time in my life.

  9. This is amazing. I wrote, but I haven't been able to read, it was just too painful at that moment. I think this list will help me though, little chunks; one from the top, one from the bottom.

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  11. Thank for putting all the posts in chronological order Angie! I am sure that took you a good deal of time to put together. I love that now we can click on a time period, in addition to a person/blog name to see where they are at in their grief. I continue to be so moved and inspired by this heartbreaking and heartwarming project that you conceived and continue to nurture. I am sure that it is helping so many on their journeys through their grief and loss. I know writing mine and reading others has been healing for me. Thank you! xoxo


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