Tuesday, April 5, 2011


We recently bought new home phones. It took me weeks of losing people in mid-trauma, batteries running out when I was in the middle of "Hello." I searched for an old dial phone. Did you know that they really don't make those anymore? I don't usually use wtf, but really wtf? Using a dial phone means that when you call someone you really mean it. You don't dial without being committed, especially because it might take you three tries. My pocket frequently calls people. Today, it called a plus sign. I put the phone to my ear and half expected to hear a cheerful Southern woman say, "Stay positive, honey."

Pockets and purses should not be given the power of dialing.

I went to Target to buy a walk-about phone. And it was like an IQ test trying to figure out which was proper phone for a family of four with two floors and napping children. I don't have the necessary time to devote to purchasing a phone. I have a cell phone. I pick out my father's phone. I really invest too much time to a technology I don't really care to use most days. So I employ this method of choosing items that are beyond my real knowledge base. I don't pick the cheapest. I don't pick the most expensive. I pick the C+ item. Something like the Fair to Middling Method. The side of the box has a modest bulleted list of attributes that includes Makes Calls. Takes Calls. For some reason, that option came with two phones. You really didn't have any other option but the two phone option, and so now I have two phones (one upstairs and one downstairs). And then, I had to pick which "ring" I wanted. On two phones. I usually go old school and pick the ring that sounds like an old dial-up phone anyhow, but for some reason, I decided to do a song just to shake up the househole.

It has an unexpected advantage not mentioned on the side of the box of transforming Thor into Lord of the Dance everytime someone calls. Even in his sleep. It is so dang cute that I rarely answer the phone in time. I just let it ring and ring, the smile spreading across his face. He starts bouncing. The phone stops and he goes back to whatever he was doing the moment before, as though he didn't just get down. I then pray the person calls back. So I don't have to answer again.

He turned one. One. One year. Three-hundred and sixty-five days. I was extremely emotional on his birthday. In fact, I think I had a mild nervous breakdown/crying jag, because nothing seemed celebratory enough. I boycotted dinner, or something ridiculously immature. I don't know. I blocked my bad behavior. Okay, I didn't. I just felt like there was not enough...oomph. We worked hard for him. His pregnancy nearly broke me. Nothing would have been enough, I realize it now. She died. He lived. He brings me a kind of joy I can't really explain, not just because of the dancing, and the smiles, and the kisses and all the little things that makes Thor Thor. Maybe it is because she died. Maybe it is because he lived. I don't know. All of it gained momentum as the day drew closer, like it was a small snowball rolling up every emotion I have felt in the last few years since I last held Lucy growing into an avalanche eventually, sweeping me under, and over again.

We had two parties this weekend for our children since Thor and Beezus are born in the same week. Thor the first and Bea the sixth. So, Saturday was a family party and Sunday was Beezus' Tea Party with her little friends. I set up a dress up area, bought girly things from thrift shops around the area and served all kinds of tea party things. It was the party I could never have as a child, and she seemed to love it. I loved celebrating my children. I needed it more than anyone. I don't really go for those traditional milestone celebrations. I didn't have a wedding. Or a graduation thing. Or whatever most people do to move into the next phase of life, but for some reason, I wanted to mark the occasions of my daughter's fourth and my son's first birthdays.

Happy birthday, my babies. I love being your mama. I love watching you dance.


  1. Happy Birthday Thor and Bea!

    I haven't seen a picture of Thor for awhile - he is looking so cute! And I bet B loved her party - what a great idea mama!

    I was shocked at how uncrazy I was on Bea's birthday. It's just hard to predict these things.

  2. happy birthday thor and bea. they are beautiful.

    and happy birthing days to you mama angie. you are an amazing woman and mother.

    we have so much to be grateful for and to celebrate and there is also so much that we have lost. perhaps knowing the deepest darkest depths of grief and despair have helped us to feel the intense gratitude and to celebrate our babes and life as much as possible.

    sending you love

  3. I was thinking this exact thought today..

    "(s)He brings me a kind of joy I can't really explain"

    Hugs to you, and I second Aliza, happy birthing days to you.

    Happy birthday hugs to the cuties. xoxo

  4. Oh what a warm and yummy post. Happy birthday to Angie's two beautiful babies, with little Lucy in the middle who will never be forgotten.
    I think I felt that same mix of emotions in the lead up to Angus' birthday. You said it so well here.
    Much love, mama. And big kisses to the children blowing out candles and eating cake this week.

  5. Oh, they are so beautiful. Happy birthdays! To all of you.

    (and if you really want a rotary phone, check out ebay. That's where I got the one that sits on my kitchen counter.)

  6. Happy birthday to the little loves!

    I am beginning to understand the joy I can't explain, too. I feel such a sense of profound . . . appreciation? calm (compared to the crazy I was when I was pregnant)? bliss? gratitude? infatuation? . . . all of the above, plus an abundance of love when I hold O. And in turn it ramps up the love, patience and wonder for E.

    What a trip. Your kiddos are beautiful, all 3.

  7. Happy Birthday, Thor and Beezus! And most especially, happy days to your mum who brought you both into this world and makes sure your mouths are fed and your bums are dry. Oh, and that your phone sounds cool.

    Here I'm planning an enormous cocktail party blowout for my son's first, because I honestly don't think I did anything but exhale when he was born, and I feel like I have so many people to thank for seeing me through the last year, plus the previous nine months, plus the prior three years. Too much?
    It's for us really, what does he know.

    You know what irks me? The old timey rotary phones that really aren't, and are wireless and actually pushbutton. Seems like cheating.

  8. Happy Birthday little ones! Such a lovely warm post, and I'm smiling here thinking of Thor dancing to the telephone ring, too cute!

  9. So sweet. Happy birthday to both of your lovies ♥

  10. Happy birthdays!

    That looks like the best party ever.

  11. Happy Birthdays, Bea and Thor!

    And thanks for sharing the photos of your beautiful family.

  12. Yay for birthdays and dancing boys and sparkly girls!

    I know this feeling you've described. Don't have a word for it or any advice on how to channel it. It always reminds me a little bit of the trololo guy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTSA_sWGM44

  13. Happy Birthday to two beautiful, beautiful children. I love the telephone ring dance!

  14. Oh Thor is precious and I know just what you mean..about the joy that he brings you.
    I'm glad you celebrated like you did. You deserve to celebrate, all of you.
    Happy Late Birthday Bea and Thor!


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