Remembering Lev River

Dearest Aliza,

If I were home, I would send this as an email, but I'm not. So, I will do it this way. I wish I could see you this week, though we've never met. Maybe we would meditate together, or walk in a jizo garden. Maybe we would smash plates or drink some beautiful local wine, but I know we would sit together and cry. It is so unfair that Lev is not here with you. I cannot pretend that his first birthday will bring any sort of peace. In fact, I know it won't. It means you have spent a year missing part of your heart. It means a year of mourning.

But I do know, Aliza, that this year you have given me an understanding of truth, mothering and love. I hold you, Arik and your Lev, your beautiful Lev, in my heart everyday, but in particular, this day, I remember. I cannot see a heart without thinking of him, without remembering his short life, without seeing a small glimmer of beauty. I miss your son, Aliza. I miss Lev in this world.

With love,
Angie