Thursday, February 3, 2011

about the boy.

Thomas Harry is ten months old. Well, two days ago. He enjoys being naked, pulling his sister's hair and playing the maracas. Both literally and figuratively. He is a fast crawler, and chases both the dog and his big sister. He also likes appropriating abandoned juice cups. His one grey eye and one brown eye have morphed into this amazing greyish brown color. He's got really cute boobies, as Beatrice points out. And he has eight teeth. He is 26.5 pounds, 30 inches and has the head circumference of a two year old. In our house, we say that the boy leads with his head. It is his form of affection to head butt your nose like some kind of football hooligan. He is very good at throwing a ball directly to you.


He is the Thornado, bringing a flurry of joy and overturned trucks and play kitchens, where ever he crawls. I didn't imagine that when we were pregnant. I was caught in this swirl of negativity, fear and inactive panic. How hard it will be. How jealous Beezus might get. How sick/hurt/damaged he might end up. How we don't have enough bedrooms on the same floor. How my love seemed not to be boundless. And then he was here, and he slipped into our lives like he's always been there. And he makes us laugh until we cannot breathe. And my love for him bottomless and encompassing and absolutely terrifying.

Ten months later, Beatrice doesn't remember a time before Thomas was here or a time when Lucy wasn't dead. And I think that is it. Lucy has also found her place in our family too. She is in every list we make about the most beautiful babies. She is in the invisible sister brigade that marches through the kitchen with pots and pans. She is in the rainbow we draw. She is the other baby in our family. She is the little sister. Perpetually, the little sister.

14 comments:

  1. What a sweet post. It reminded me of the 1st. We went to Church to celebrate Nicholas's 3rd birthday and one of the women referred to him as the "little brother" to Bobby and Maya. I corrected her, but she smiled and said "you know what I mean, dear" and I thought, yes... He will always be the little brother. Even though he is the oldest. It was an interesting realization.

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  2. It seems like just yesterday that Thor was teeny. Well, teenier.

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  3. My, my Thor, you are a big and busy boy. And quite sneaky to have wiggled so thoroughly into your hearts!

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  4. He is beautiful.
    How I love that, when you can't imagine them and then you can't imagine a time before them because their presence is so obvious, even little Lucy's.
    xx Louise

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  5. Angus is now the age Hope would have been when he was born. I have been thinking a lot lately, that I would like another shot at having my 15 month old and my newborn. I'll take Hope back as a newborn now. She does feel like the little sister around here as well, despite the fact she's the very opposite.
    Loved the detail about Thomas Harry. How I'd love to get our little tornado boys together!
    xo

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  6. *Swoon* He is so beautiful! And he sounds like a lot of fun.

    It's amazing how they sneak into your heart when you can't imagine how they will.

    I like the invisible sister brigade.

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  7. He is totally adorable Angie!! and the end of your post made me get all emotional - it's so true that the little one missing is always there and it makes me happy to be able to feel that way too!

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  8. He is a cutie and this is a very sweet post.

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  9. Snap ... Master Tobias is also 26.5lbs (albeit at 1 year) and has completely captured all our hearts, utterly.

    I nodded along to a lot of this post. Emma is "biglittle sister" here and, like Lucy, a prominent part of any art created.

    Thomas is such a beautiful, beautiful boy :)

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  10. I love your nickname for that beautiful boy of yours - Thornado. Thinking of your Lucy. (((Hugs)))

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  11. Lol. I want to see another picture of his cute boobies. Caelan calls Jasper's that too.

    xx

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