A new day

It is a new day.

I feel better today. Not physically, still have this sore throat and cold/ebola thing and my itty bitty gigantic pulsating splinter hole, but emotionally I feel better. Thank you for letting me vent and be in a public state of despair. To be honest, I called the midwife I see for appointments right after posting. (I go to a midwives group with twelve midwives, and since Lucy's death have seen the same one for consistency of care and because she was there attending to me after Lucy died, though she had cared for me in all three of my pregnancies.) She had given me her personal cell number. As she walked down the street, I explained what happened. She is very level-headed and overly cautious, but kind. She is going to call me this morning when she is in front of my chart with actual numbers for my urine test. And to check they did a UTI culture when I was in the hospital.

When I asked her point blank, "What is happening? Do I have pre-eclampsia? Do I have gestational diabetes? What is going on?" She said that there was no way they would diagnose pre-eclampsia without elevated blood pressures, but that spilling protein is a sign of something, and the one they worry about the most is pre-e. It puts me in a high risk category, though with my loss, I was already there. She basically told me that protein means something is going on: UTI, diabetes, or pre-eclampsia, though I could just be spilling protein. They can monitor the first two, but the last one is so serious they defer to the doctors for my care. All in all, she assured me that if the protein was because of something not pre-eclampsia, I would more than likely transfer BACK to the midwives.

One thing that sounds stark and dire in my last post, which I did not intend, was that the midwives were abandoning me. There are OBs associated with their group, in the same office, accessible with the same phone number. I will be seeing one from that group, hopefully the same one as my lovely friend Sarah sees. It isn't like I am suddenly out in the cold with no care. I am sorry to give that impression. My midwife said that on my first appointment, she would stop in and talk to the doctor and see if they can't co-manage my care.

All in all, FREAK OUT last night. Calmer now.

This is all for getting Thor out. The truth is the midwife who called me last night, not my regular one, told me that this means I will have regular NSTs and more monitoring. When I talked to my midwife, I was already on that path with regular NSTs and fluid checks twice a week starting at 32 weeks. It is probably the same course of action.

Thank you for all your loving support and for watching my back, internets. Y'all rock. And to leave you with something a bit lighter, and for the colorizers out there. Here are some of my mad organization skillz, yo.