Wednesday, January 20, 2010

A new day

It is a new day.

I feel better today. Not physically, still have this sore throat and cold/ebola thing and my itty bitty gigantic pulsating splinter hole, but emotionally I feel better. Thank you for letting me vent and be in a public state of despair. To be honest, I called the midwife I see for appointments right after posting. (I go to a midwives group with twelve midwives, and since Lucy's death have seen the same one for consistency of care and because she was there attending to me after Lucy died, though she had cared for me in all three of my pregnancies.) She had given me her personal cell number. As she walked down the street, I explained what happened. She is very level-headed and overly cautious, but kind. She is going to call me this morning when she is in front of my chart with actual numbers for my urine test. And to check they did a UTI culture when I was in the hospital.

When I asked her point blank, "What is happening? Do I have pre-eclampsia? Do I have gestational diabetes? What is going on?" She said that there was no way they would diagnose pre-eclampsia without elevated blood pressures, but that spilling protein is a sign of something, and the one they worry about the most is pre-e. It puts me in a high risk category, though with my loss, I was already there. She basically told me that protein means something is going on: UTI, diabetes, or pre-eclampsia, though I could just be spilling protein. They can monitor the first two, but the last one is so serious they defer to the doctors for my care. All in all, she assured me that if the protein was because of something not pre-eclampsia, I would more than likely transfer BACK to the midwives.

One thing that sounds stark and dire in my last post, which I did not intend, was that the midwives were abandoning me. There are OBs associated with their group, in the same office, accessible with the same phone number. I will be seeing one from that group, hopefully the same one as my lovely friend Sarah sees. It isn't like I am suddenly out in the cold with no care. I am sorry to give that impression. My midwife said that on my first appointment, she would stop in and talk to the doctor and see if they can't co-manage my care.

All in all, FREAK OUT last night. Calmer now.

This is all for getting Thor out. The truth is the midwife who called me last night, not my regular one, told me that this means I will have regular NSTs and more monitoring. When I talked to my midwife, I was already on that path with regular NSTs and fluid checks twice a week starting at 32 weeks. It is probably the same course of action.

Thank you for all your loving support and for watching my back, internets. Y'all rock. And to leave you with something a bit lighter, and for the colorizers out there. Here are some of my mad organization skillz, yo.


  1. i'm sorry you are having such an awful week - and very glad you are now getting information and care. i will be sending good vibes that the protein is a whole lot of nothing, that you can still eat as many cupcakes as you like, and that thor happily stays put for a while yet. love to you. sorry it's so hard right now. xo

  2. I think your group could've handled things a LOT better, but truth be told I'm a bit relieved that they admitted you need to step up the level of attention and that they were unable to do so. (Sadly, it no l longer takes much imagination for me to know there are people out there whose rose-tinted glasses obscure real danger, and they forge ahead assuming the best.) And now you will be monitored, and at the slightest sign of danger, you will be covered. That alone is bringing down my blood pressure, don't know about yours.

    Call if you need company or someone to deliver (and obviously then take away) fun mystery novels or trashy magazines to your chairside.

    To think I consider putting things in a drawer and then closing said drawer an organizational skill. sigh.

  3. So gald you are feeling you can get back to organinzing!!! xx

  4. Okay, good to hear the follow up -- I was ready to come over there beat someone up for you! :) Glad you got to talk with your regular midwife and will have more info today. Still sending you tons of supportive vibes. And lots of colorful love back at you for sharing those lovely organizing, colorful photos!

  5. I'm so glad you're feeling calmer.

    And wow, I can only dream of such organisation...


  6. Aahhh, I have such a lovely feeling inside now from seeing all the beautiful colorizing. Do you have a label maker? Everyone should have a label maker. I want to buy different colored tape for my label maker and then everything could be perfect. ;)

  7. i'm so glad she gave you her number. i have an OB nurse that did that for me too, i talk to her almost every day and i'm not even pregnant yet! but she's wonderful. i'm so glad for you. i hope you get that consistant care, from the OBs for the serious medical stuff, and that it continues from this apparently awesome midwife too.

  8. Deep breaths and love from across the internets.

  9. This is really positive news,hon. Like Tash, I'm glad they're taking your care seriously.


  10. With those organisational skills, are you sure you're not a Virgo??

    So glad they are watching like hawks now. And as you know, I'm here to support you in whatever way you need.


  11. Here, feeling the ups and downs with you my friend. xxx

  12. glad you are feeling a bit calmer now angie. it sounds like you are in good hands with your mw and/or ob.
    and love the rainbow colors.
    sending you love

  13. Your awesome..... I want to come and play in your art studio.

    Thinking of you friend xxx

  14. Glad you are feeling a little more calm...positive thoughts that Thor stays put for a good long while.

  15. Taking deep breaths for you, Angie. It does sound like you are in good hands. Hang tight!! xo


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