Thirty posts in thirty days.

October kicks off Pregnancy Loss and Awareness month and Virginia at In the Land of Broken Hearts is posting about some aspect of stillbirth and pregnancy loss and awareness each day of the month. She challenged herself to post everyday to raise awareness. I thought that was an incredible idea, and yet, I don't really know much of the factual end of stillbirth, except what I have googled about stillbirth. I don't have google alerts set to stillborn, and it is an issue close to my heart. My daughter Lucia Paz was one of 26,000 babies born dead after week 20 of pregnancy (defined that way in the US and after 24 weeks in the UK) in 2008. We never found a reason for her death, which is why awareness and education and research is so desperately needed. So, what I can share, however, is my experience as a woman and mother and my experience with stillbirth.

A few weeks ago, loribeth at the Road Less Traveled, which is one of my faves, posted a thirty posts in thirty days meme type thing, which was awesome. I just loved learning more about her and her experiences in the world. I thought I would combine the two, transform her thirty posts in thirty days idea into thirty posts in thirty days from a dead baby mama. Here was her jumping off point for her thirty posts:

Here' s Loribeth's master list:

Day 1 - your favorite song
Day 2 - your favorite movie
Day 3 - your favorite television program
Day 4 - your favorite book
Day 5 - your favorite quote
Day 6 - 20 of your favorite things
Day 7 - a photo that makes you happy
Day 8 - a photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 9 - a photo you took
Day 10 - a photo taken over 10 years ago of you
Day 11 - a photo of you recently
Day 12 - something you are OCD about
Day 13 - a fictional book
Day 14 - a non-fictional book
Day 15 - your dream house
Day 16 - a song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 - an art piece (drawing, sculpture, painting, etc)
Day 18 - my wedding/future wedding/past wedding
Day 19 - a talent of yours
Day 20 - a hobby of yours
Day 21 - a recipe
Day 22 - a website
Day 23 - a youtube video
Day 24 - where you live
Day 25 - your day, in great detail
Day 26 - your week, in great detail
Day 27 - your worst habit
Day 28 - what's in your handbag/purse
Day 29 - hopes, dreams, and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 - a dream for the future 

Basically, I am transforming some of them into more loss/grief related questions and using it as a springboard to write everyday, and since this blog is ostensibly about my loss, though gnomes sneak in there, I will answer these questions with that lens.

My new master list:

Day 1 - a song that reminds you of your child, or one that you can't listen to anymore and why.
Day 2 - a movie that helped you get through the hard times, or one that jumps out at you after your loss.
Day 3 - a television program that helped you either get through hard times or that moves you.
Day 4 - your favorite book. has it changed since your loss?
Day 5 - your favorite quote.
Day 6 - twenty things that calm you.
Day 7 - a photo that makes you happy.
Day 8 - a photo that makes you angry/sad.
Day 9 - a photo you took since your loss.
Day 10 - a photo taken over 10 years ago of you and how it makes you feel seeing it now.
Day 11 - a photo of you recently and how it makes you feel seeing it now.
Day 12 - something you are OCD about.
Day 13 - a fictional book that is meaningful to you since your loss.
Day 14 - a non-fictional book that is meaningful to you since your loss.
Day 15 - what you like about your house.
Day 16 - a song that makes you cry (or nearly).
Day 17 - an art piece (drawing, sculpture, painting, etc) that moves you.
Day 18 - my wedding/future wedding/past wedding.
Day 19 - a talent of yours.
Day 20 - a hobby of yours and how it changed since your loss.
Day 21 - a recipe.
Day 22 - a website that has been meaningful since your loss.
Day 23 - a youtube video that makes you laugh.
Day 24 - where you live
Day 25 - your day, in great detail
Day 26 - your week, in great detail
Day 27 - your worst habit since your child's death.
Day 28 - what's in your handbag/purse
Day 29 - hopes, dreams, and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 - a dream for the future 

Feel like joining me? 

I'm starting today, after this post, which I am going to count for yesterday since I missed Day One.  Put it in the comment section of this post, and I'll come learn more about you. It'll be fun. (DO IT!)